HOW TO SURVIVE UNM guerrilla style

I'm sure you have seen these so called college survival guides before. There those that tell you not to procrastinate and to study hard; but this one is different. This survival guide will tell you how to get away with turning stuff in late and how to get free stuff on campus. In fact, this whole week we will be focusing on Student Survival Tips. So listen up cause this is the first edition of: College Survival 101 GUERRILLA STYLE

How to get free Sh#!-
1. If you need free coffee, grab a glass of joe at Mesa Vista Hall. In the 2nd floor, there is a hidden computer lab to your left that brews until 12 pm everyday. The coffee is good and they even provide tasty individual creams to sweeten your morning brew.
2. If you need a NEW YORK TIMES newspaper for free, make friends with a journalism major student. Journalism majors have a code to access a blue bin east of the SUB (in front of Mesa Vista by the flyer post) that has NY Times Daily Newspaper. Everyday the Times is dropped in, and if your lucky, you can walk by and catch the bin open and have some reading for your free cup of coffee.
3. If you need free condoms, you can go to the student health center. If your too embarrassed to go to the Drug Store to buy them or just don't like the Planned Parenthood styles, go to the Student Health center and pick up a "brownbag" of name brand condoms at the pharmacy up stairs on the second floor.
4. If you need free parking, get sneaky. So we all know parking is difficult around UNM and worse off campus. If you stay more than 45 minutes at Frontier, the meter Nazi's ticket your car! But here are a few tricks to avoid citations for your wagon. Save a ticket or steal an envelope from a ticketed car. If you have to park in A lot because you are running late for class, slip the "ticket" under your windshield wiper and hope the citation guy with the fanny pack skips your car. If you have class later
than 3 pm, park in the lots that charge hourly or daily rates. Someone most likely was there already and paid the fee for the whole day, so your in the clear if you park later in the day because they usually check the lots from 12 to 2 pm daily. The final tip is that the Parking Stucture Closes at 11pm. You can leave for free after that.
5. If you need free printing- LOBOLAB is usually packed, and we all know the library charges a ridiculous rate, so get familiar with computer labs for each department and go print out your stuff there. Almost every building has it, there are several in Mitchell hall, one on the first floor in Dane Smith, and one in the Anthropology building. Usually paper is readily available and people don't bother to ask if your a major in the dept.

6.How to get away with late assigments.
"Email" the document- here's a good one: Go to the web and download openoffice.org With this program documents created in the text format are usually saved as an .odt file, rather than a regular .doc file. Most computers cannot open an .odt file unless they have the open office program. If you are desperate for time on an assignment, make a fake .odt file with the title of your assignment, send it to your professor (assuming he or she won't be able to open it) to get yourself legitimate time.

DISCLAIMER: Now abusing such tactics results in a loss for all, so practice moderation PLEASE. Remember, its only bad if you get caught- so don't get caught!